moment of truth

I'm thinking i were to be on an episode of 'The moment of Truth'. It will definitely make me win just the first 3/5 questions. Why? Because the rest of the questions i will choose not to answer it and walk away. Answering it will means breaking people hearts.

Especially my family. I Love them. I have secrets of each and every members that they each do not know off and i do not disclose to either members. I respect the need for being confidential. I admit i can observe people and know how they behave and think after knowing them a long time. They might say 'No' but i know it actually meant 'Yes'. I do not wish to disclose it as it will hurt them and the family will get further apart.

I am enjoying my family better now than in my younger years. It was bitter and very sour. Suidcide was comptemplating every single moments heat arises. Thankfully, the then boyfriend understood my family situation and calm me and 'sekel' me in the head. He still does, my dearest husband. But that does not mean i disclose all to him. I told him the status of my family so that he understand me better on when bitter occassion arises or when i cried or dreaming away. But not all as i still want my family matters to be confidential and i respect them the way they are thou of the things i've experienced with them.

I do not hate them. no matter what they are still my family which can never be replaced. What had happened, happened. PERIOD. I look for a new day and do not brood over how they treated me in the past.

Now, we are a happy family with my sis and family staying with my parents. We have suddenly become such a big family! Used to be me, sis, mum and dad. Now, the parents + sis,husband,triplets girls + me, husband!
*wah* from 4 to 9 in just 1 year!

I am happy to see my parents so happy with the triplets! I'm happy that i still gets to visit them and play with the triplets almost every weeks. I'm happy also because my relationship with my sister is better. No story on it.Period. Move on, remember!

What ever that mum and dad has done for me, i'm truly grateful.
I could never really say my thanks and love to them 100%. I cannot fight the tears. Even to my sister.
For us we say our thanks and love about 60% and we will understood how each of us felt. As we cannot fight the tears. It will just be painful to talk it out.
Actually that works for me, sis and dad. For mum you need to put in more than 60% as she always misunderstood. heh.

Hearing my favourite hari raya song, from mamat, ish! What's the title seh! It goes like this..
'duhai bonda, duhai ayahanda... dengarlah rahyuan anakanda yang jauh di mata..'
ahh, hearing it this year makes me more sadder.. previously i felt for that song thou i am near them inside me it felt very far apart. This year i'm far as i'm living with my husband.

But it's okay as i've learn that sacrifices is pain. To be happy you need to make sacrifices.

I am verry happy with my life now and takes each moment as it is. I cannot ask for more.