moment of truth

I'm thinking i were to be on an episode of 'The moment of Truth'. It will definitely make me win just the first 3/5 questions. Why? Because the rest of the questions i will choose not to answer it and walk away. Answering it will means breaking people hearts.

Especially my family. I Love them. I have secrets of each and every members that they each do not know off and i do not disclose to either members. I respect the need for being confidential. I admit i can observe people and know how they behave and think after knowing them a long time. They might say 'No' but i know it actually meant 'Yes'. I do not wish to disclose it as it will hurt them and the family will get further apart.

I am enjoying my family better now than in my younger years. It was bitter and very sour. Suidcide was comptemplating every single moments heat arises. Thankfully, the then boyfriend understood my family situation and calm me and 'sekel' me in the head. He still does, my dearest husband. But that does not mean i disclose all to him. I told him the status of my family so that he understand me better on when bitter occassion arises or when i cried or dreaming away. But not all as i still want my family matters to be confidential and i respect them the way they are thou of the things i've experienced with them.

I do not hate them. no matter what they are still my family which can never be replaced. What had happened, happened. PERIOD. I look for a new day and do not brood over how they treated me in the past.

Now, we are a happy family with my sis and family staying with my parents. We have suddenly become such a big family! Used to be me, sis, mum and dad. Now, the parents + sis,husband,triplets girls + me, husband!
*wah* from 4 to 9 in just 1 year!

I am happy to see my parents so happy with the triplets! I'm happy that i still gets to visit them and play with the triplets almost every weeks. I'm happy also because my relationship with my sister is better. No story on it.Period. Move on, remember!

What ever that mum and dad has done for me, i'm truly grateful.
I could never really say my thanks and love to them 100%. I cannot fight the tears. Even to my sister.
For us we say our thanks and love about 60% and we will understood how each of us felt. As we cannot fight the tears. It will just be painful to talk it out.
Actually that works for me, sis and dad. For mum you need to put in more than 60% as she always misunderstood. heh.

Hearing my favourite hari raya song, from mamat, ish! What's the title seh! It goes like this..
'duhai bonda, duhai ayahanda... dengarlah rahyuan anakanda yang jauh di mata..'
ahh, hearing it this year makes me more sadder.. previously i felt for that song thou i am near them inside me it felt very far apart. This year i'm far as i'm living with my husband.

But it's okay as i've learn that sacrifices is pain. To be happy you need to make sacrifices.

I am verry happy with my life now and takes each moment as it is. I cannot ask for more.

we are 6mths!

We are 6mths~!

i totally forgot to blog bout' me being 6mths Mrs Enell.

Mr Enell and i took half day off and had a great day.
He surprised me with the most beautiful flower he ever gave to me,

when he fetched me at work. Earlier on at work i was busy ah-cooo-ing...
Initially, we planned to run off to JB to eat Kenny Rogers before fasting month began.
But, with me being sick, we changed plan.

Mr Enell and i ended up having late lunch, went photo taking with the flower
and watch 'The Proposal'. It was great, being with him. The first time we watched movie when we went 'paktoh-ing' was 'You've got mail'. I still remembered the moments of the scene and us in the cinema.

Let me share the photos of us, Mr & Mrs Enell of 6mths.. =D

The flower

Love the flower!!!I LOVE You as from the first day, Mr Enell.

Ready to walk ahead all the life journey throughout with you

Morning blogger.!

Such a bright sunny day!
had a great day shopping w husband.

went 2 get his shirt 2 padankan w my kebaya nyonya.
we passed by TANGS who was havng closed sale 4 members..

buy a nice cooling bed set n a room flask in gold!

Haha..so d cleopatra!

im loving my days!

Looking 4ward 2 pasang lampu lap lip n new klambu 2 d room..
heh,my MIL even offered 2 bring it down n washed it 4 me..

2dae i buka rumah.

but i miss my family at 539..

myb wkend i go buka thr..

Terima kasih~.

I am thankful for my life.

I've always wanted and hope for peace,being blissfully happy with my loves ones.

I'm a simple person who's happy with simple things.

I dont need highly sought branded stuff as most girls or ladies alike wishes for.

I'm happy with mixing my dress sense from ThisFashion or any budget store around.

To me, why go for high value products when u only use it at most 2 months, then you'll itch for a newer item. You waste money then you think you get back what you lost by reselling it.I just find it, troublesome and the money (if you managed to sell it) is lower.

For me, it's better i buy clothes that are worth the value not too steep as i know soon i'll melt for a newer design so i dont see the need to spend too much. Long lasting items, yes, me and husband will splurge.

Today, i'm happy i got a kebaya nyonya at the Geylang baazar. Prior to that, i send my nikah hantaran baju for alteration. I was less chubby during wedding. Now 6mths being Mrs Enell, i've put on WEIGHT. I love my chubby cheeks but i detest the fats on the belly and thighs. THe butt is high too.. Tak suka lah!!!

Oh ok my baju's story.. After sending the baju to RH, i walk around and in less than 30mins, i got myself a lace baju. Love it as i can mix and match it. Told Mum and dad wanted to get myself a kebaya nyonya and indeed i did! Dad loves to jalan at baazar geylang. in fact he loves jalan-jalan where there's a crowd. Mum also the same. I dont really fancy the baazar as it is so pening with lots of people. And poor husband was down with flu. HAte to see him with that as he will get a bit agitated with the flu and i dont dare to talk to as he will hate it that he cannot layan me as good as norm due to the flu..

We break fast in the car.

Initially the plan was to drive to mum's home in time for buka.But cari-cari my nyonya kebaya and its ten minute to break fast. Poor husband kan middle of buka he needs to drive. I suggest we break fast in the car. After about ten minutes, we buka then i thought of sitting by the pavement to eat the snacks abah bought.It brought back memories of impromptu breaking fast when i was small and during teens together with fav cuzzin.It was fun, and memorable.

I'm happy as saturday i spent time with the in-law side. With MIL being a chef, cooking a feast for those who came. I'm happy i get to help out pre and post the feast.

I'm happy on sunday i spent time with my mum and abah.I miss them a lot. Though now i'm a wife, i still want to be daughter to them. I'm happy i can haf a fair timetable shuttling between my parent, in-law and mostly husband.

I'm doing this as i want to have as much time with all my love ones while i can or while they are still around. Not to be hanging on memories on them when they are away. Or regreting not to be able to hug and kiss them when i can.

Reading news on sudden death, or man who passed on at age of 50+ makes me shivers... i cannot imagine how i would react if it's my dearest dad or mum passing on, as they are no longer young. Visiting them weekly makes me always looking at them when they are unaware how aged they are. especially my dad. He used to have a belly now he's more slim and i can see his bones but he is still tough helping mum carrying her so heavy marketting items. Each time i look at them, i cant believe that i've grown and is taking a place on earth on my own and soon they will leave me.

Yes, im crying when im typing this. Outside, i dont show my emotions. Normally i do it alone.

Now husband is peacefully sleeping and i'm wiping away my tears as i dont wish him to be awake and ask me why im crying.He dont like to see me crying and he has vowed to always make me happy and never have to cry when he is by my side..

I thank Allah for giving me happiness after what i had gone through half my life.

I really hope Allah will extend this happiness for as long as He allows to..